Happiness is hidden in a corner of your heart

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Bridge over the abyss. Source: flickr.com

The river of life runs between the banks of pain and pleasure. The mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.
You are not passing through life, you are here because you are life.
You are this twig of conscious life rocking on the swing of existence.

vela

The candle flame expands its light. Source: 365consejosparaserfeliz.blogspot.com.es

 

When you discover the flower that springs every morning in the heart of the friend, the love that unites eclipses the mind that separates.
Reason tells you that you are barely anything in the immensity of the cosmos, but the heart assures you that you are everything.
The flower fills the space with its perfume, the candle flame expands its light. Neither the flower nor the flame do anything; and yet they change everything by their mere presence.

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Ocean

Every drop of the ocean carries the scent of the ocean. Every moment of your life carries the fragrance of the eternal.

 

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Happiness is hidden in a corner of your heart. Sleep quiet, oblivious to your anxiety, waiting for you to wake her up.
Your real being is love itself and the multitude of your loves are its reflection.

-Mario Carrillo-

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Quietness

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This quietness is the highest form of intelligence which is never personal, never yours or mine. Being anonymous, it is whole and immaculate. It defies description for it has no quality. This is awareness, this is attention, this is love… ~ Krishnamurti

The way of knowledge

Desires and knowledge

According to the ancient Vedas, we have a soul, and such soul has four distinct desires. The first is dharma, the desire to fully become who we were meant to be, the longing to achieve our highest state of well-being to fulfill our destiny. The second desire is artha, the desire for the material means (money, health) necessary for fulfill our dharma. The third desire is kama, the longing for pleasure in any and all forms. The fourth is moksha, the desire to be free from the burdens of the world, experiencing spirit, to achieve lasting peace and a state beyond the reach of the other three desires.

The more separated from the whole we feel, the more egoistic will be our desires. Our knowledge of the world depends on our mind (manas), and also the fulfilment of our desires; when the mind is exclusively dedicated to fulfil egoistic desires, the knowledge is lower, indeed is ignorance. One of the schools of classical Yoga, Jnana Yoga, aims to develop higher, true knowledge. Is the way suitable for intellectual people. In ordinary people mind is so dedicated to fulfil selfish desires than become entangled with them, making a mess named kama-manas, “desire-mind”.

A short tale

Once upon a time, in the Indian part of Punjab region,  there was a young promising teacher of University, doing his post-doctoral stage: Harmanpreet, who was both a very clever man but also a follower of ancient traditions, he meditated every morning for half an hour and also use to read spiritual books. Moreover, he had a mystic temperament, he can feel joy deeply and also he can feel sorrow very deeply, more deeply than the average person, because they was more sensitive and clever. Harmanpreet was also an amorous man, that is, strongly disposed to romantic love, considered for him the highest form of love while we are in the world. He had fallen in love sometimes since their adolescence, but nothing serious.

It was the first year in  the University for Advita, a girl belonging to the low Indian caste named Shudras. Her family was a very conservative one, but also they had a strong ambition, a will of become respected in spite of their caste; the father was a respected engineering, and he wanted all their sons and also daughters had also a career, and a good job. In the Hindu tradition Advita was starting to be marriageable, so their parents started to think about, despite she was not interested at all in such subject, she was only nineteen years old.

It happens that Advita felt attracted by Harmanpreet, one or her teachers; he was so polite and clever … Soon she look for him in Facebook and ask him friendship. Harmanpreet wondered a bit, is not usual such event, a student asking friendship with a teacher, but at last he accepted. Next night, after dinner, while Harmanpreet was working on his laptop, Advita opened a chat with him, and ask him about some academic topics, starting a chat that prolonged for two hours; the two young talked about music, travels, movies, etc etc. When chat was over, Harmanpreet felt a smooth excitation, a sense of happiness, it was a very nice chat. Next weeks such chats became common, strengthening the new friendship. Slowly, almost unwittingly, such chats became the most desired times of the day. In classroom both kept their composure, they  greet with a smile, no more.

At last Harmanpreet noticed he was deeply in love with Advita, a love strong and deeper than any other he was experienced before, so he started to make plans: he imagined being presented to her parents, who sure would be happy because he was a promising teacher, also imagined a very happy, joyful life. But when the young teacher opened their heart to Advita, problems started: their parents never will let her marry with somebody that was not their own choice, arranged with the family; even more, both young was of different castes: Harmanpreet was a brahmin, the higher caste, while Advita was a Shudra, low caste. Advita’s parents was against mixed caste marriages. Being Advita  educated in obedience and respect, also considering family the most important thing it the life, any dating with Harmanpreet was closed.

So Advita started to avoid Harmanpreet, chats was over, even she didn’t greet him at class, ignoring him, although she also loved him. When Harmanpreet accepted such way, ignoring her, then the girl felt stupid herself, and looked for him with her best sonrisa, trying to keep the friendship, then Harmanpreet regained hope, trying to go further, causing the reaction of Advita, who moved away again. Such cycle happened and happened, causing a lot of suffering to Harmanpreet, who even felt ill, feverishly.

He started to meditate in the situation, reflecting, even contemplating the situation, looking for relief. While meditating, he stopped their mind from wandering, and contemplating the facts from a mindfulness state. One day he was contemplating the fact: “when I try to get close to her, following my strong desire for her, she go further, and when we relax my desire, waiting nothing, then she returns, giving me their friendship“; suddenly he had an insight, “selfish desire for her is not love, on the contrary, my desire prevents her love”  and at the same time, he noticed a strange feeling of let go, something released from him. At that very moment the longing for a romantic love was dissolved  for the insight, because he realized passionate love was not the higher kind of love, indeed, the higher love is the unattached one, when we are able to give without expect anything in return: True Love is what remains when the selfish passion ends. And Harmanpreet ceased to suffering, entering in a peaceful loving state.

The desire that Harmanpreet felt was very strong indeed, covering the four Vedic desires: he experienced dharma, the longing to achieve their highest state of well-being and fulfill their destiny, thinking Advita was the way for achieve it; also he experienced artha, the desire for the material means, thinking about Advita as it; evidently he also experienced kama, the longing for pleasure, and until a certain point also experienced moksha, the desire to experiencing spirit, to achieve lasting peace, imagining he will feel the higher kind of love through Advita. After the insight, such desires became highly purified. Harmanpreet now only wants the best for Advita, also the best for all the people around; he himself had pure Love in their heart, waiting any chance for share it with anybody, without  expectations. Such state is blissful. Harmanpreet is now a  Jnana yogi, he has higher knowledge about life and love.

Evolution

Last week was not a good one for my wife, so also not for me: after two years of disease, she became worst. Slepless nights, worries, go to work with headache, and a sense of frustration , also negative thoughts, like “I can’t do anything more, I abandon, I can’t … etc”. I realized one thing is to be able for contact, for touch, our inner peace, which lives within us, always stable, always peaceful, and other thing is to be able of act and think positively in front  of  a storm. I can “visit” the peace, for rest, but the world still are a hard, dangerous site.

Family gathered for dinner, we usually watch TV, bad habit, I know it, but we do it. Watching a documentary about a filipino woman, married, poor, who went to Saudi Arabia for work as a cook in a house, the owner threatened her with a knife, rape her, she became pregant, then she had to escape from the country like a criminal due to the laws there, which condemn with jail any pregnant unmarried woman without further consideration … not a good documentary for improve mood.

Opening the doors of mind

Later, I scanned the channels looking for something better for my mood, and found a cartoon movie, “Prince of Egypt”, I have watched it yet, but I decided to stay for a while. The main character, Moses, is hosted in a desert tribe; he’s is discouraged, he feels his life is worthless, and the life has no sense. An old tribe sage noticed it, and started to sing:

A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design

At this point I started to pay attention, because something resonates within me, my mind state was similar to Moses …

And the stone that sits up on the very top
of the mountain’s mighty face
doesn’t think it’s more important
than the stones that forms the base

Yeah , I think so, each of us has a role in this play that is life, and all are important …

So how can you see what your life is worth
or where your value lies
you can never see through the eyes of man
you must look at your life
look at your life through heaven’s eyes

Aha … but, what is “heaven’s eyes”? for me, is a look from an open, clean, illuminated mind. A little mind is always a closed one, watching only a little bit of the whole, but, in their ignorance, judging the whole based only on a small part. It was like a breath of fresh air for me. I “only” can love and support my wife, I can’t do any more, but is not a little value act at all, even seeing she are still bad.

Evolution

Should a man lose everything he owns
has he truly lost his worth
or is it the beginning
of a new and brighter birth

Indeed, all the brutality of this world, the unfair laws, the oppression, brutality, wars, violence, etc, etc, are the expression of Natural laws through the human mind. Why on earth the mantis devours her consort? In Nature, the weak perish, nobody help the sick, nobody care the wounded, the hungry. Violence is a natural instinct. As a specie we already are rational animals: the instinct of the jungle lives within us, moving our thoughts; that’s why all the violence in our world, is the natural one but rationalized through our intellect. But also we have the ability of transcend our instincts, so our advanced societies offer protection for the weak, for the ill. Our potential is unlimited, because we have not only an intellect, but also a spiritual facet. Even now a days we the humankind have coined a new concept: spiritual intelligence, did you have heard it before? I think is really great that exist such concept, because it means our higher spiritual possibilities are no longer  ill-defined, or just religious stuff, but clear concepts and, more important, skills we can develop.

No life can escape being blown about
by the winds of change and chance
and though you never know all the steps
you must learn to join the dance
you must learn to join the dance

Yeah, let’s dance, the dance of life, even unknowing all the steps, is the only way for learn to dance.

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through Heaven’s eyes, look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through Heaven’s eyes

Desire can prevent Love

I know this writing can be a bit controversial, but is based on my own experience, is not any philosophical or metaphysical theory.

Types of love

Our mind classifies all the contents of our conscience, even the feel of love, so we discriminate between many types of love: friendship, brotherhood, maternal love, romantic love, etc.  In fact there are only one love, but we express it in many ways, conditioned by social and moral rules, driven by our minds.

Our society often presents romantic love as the higher of all types, because is the one that is more passionate, their material expression is more intense, more physical. Romantic love have to has sex, otherwise is classified as Platonic love, a sort of non complete romantic love. Moreover, this romantic love must be unique: we have to feel love for only one person, otherwise is not true love, but desire. Which person? As movies, books, and media in general states, is your perfect partner, who you have to find. This rule is not universal, of course, there are also arranged marriages in some traditions, but I want talk about countries and cultures following the romantic love paradigm.

Love is complicated, friendship is confused

It happens that I always have found more interesting women than men, they are more opened, they express their feelings better, are less aggressive, are more socially skilled, etc. And maybe they notice it, because I usually they like me. But I have found myself in a trouble too often: sometimes desire appears in the relationship; being married, I can’t offer any kind of romantic love to more women, so pain appears, as a result of the frustrated desire. Then, we distance ourselves, and the friendship is ruined.

Maybe the reader are thinking this a trivial, very viewed history; not at all, such feelings was and are producing huge amounts of pain. Moreover, my aim is to show how desire can, and really do, ruin a nice friendship. If you’re agree with the thought “friendship is a nice type of love”, then we can state “desire can ruin such love”. Where is the problem? As always, it is in the mind. When physical attraction appears, our mind creates an idea, thinking such person is desirable: a desire born. If we don’t control such desire, it grows, and soon dominates us, confusing us: we think then we are “falling in love”. Then, soon, our mind notice such love is impossible, so desire is frustrated, and we feel pain. In response, we maybe feel angry, or feel disconsolately, or something similar, and decide to stay away from that person, the source of pain, even if there was a friendship. I lived that pattern of behaviour about five times in the last fifteen years, losing contact with friends. Is a pity, really.

By the way, the title of this section, “Love is complicated, friendship is confused“, was a group on Facebook an old friend, a girl indeed, who joined up, doing it while thinking in our relationship; I remember it well. Now a days we don’t talk, even no chat, no mail, I don’t know nothing about her, but in her own last words, “you are still my best friend, even if we don’t talk anymore“. Seems some type of censure forbidden us to talk, the censure of desire. Again, is a pity.

Are there any alternative way?

Yes, of course: be above our desires, be the Lord of our inner world, not their slave. As humans, we all experience attraction and desire; but we can see such attraction as mere information, given us by our unconscious mind, saying us: “hey, you, here there are something interesting, right?”. What can we do with this information? Well, we don’t need to do anything, we can simply say: “allright, thanks for the info”. If we don’t make such decision, then automatically the energy started within us will continue its natural way, generating the desire of stay near of the object of interest, and such energy will grow and grow until become craving, clinginess, attachment, and delusion harming us and eventually destroying the relationship and covering the Love we felt with an opaque cover.

Is essential to be enough aware of our own feelings, for to be able of notice the attraction at the very beginning of the process of attraction-desire. Also, is important to know the difference between love and attraction: for example, you can see it in my post “Attraction and desire are not Love“.

Attraction and Desire are not Love

A common feeling is that attraction between two person often drives them to desire other’s company, staying near, and then is possible to start thinking in love.

But attraction is an emotion generated for unconscious mind; there are some triggers which are activated by certain subtle stimuli, like an expression of face, tone of voice, glances, also intellectual triggers like opinions, likes and dislikes, etc. Our instinctive brain,  located outside the conscious brain, is the responsible of generation of signals: “in front of you there are a valuable person, stay close to her”.

Of course, often the signals are too superficial, and when we know better the person, then we realize is simply another person, not so special. Indeed, we aren’t talk here about intuition, but about low level physical attraction.

But when conscious mind receive such signals, if the person are living their identity as en ego, that is, a mess of thoughts, personal history, desires, etc, then the person is not able to see the signals as they really are, only automatic information generated for their low brain, instead, the person thinks he himself  is who feels the attraction. Then, is easy the conscious mind generate a desire for to be near such attractive person.

Such attraction-desire can be confused with love; lot of music, movies, books, talk us about this kind of love. But in fact is far away from true love; attraction-desire is more near to “I like you, so I want you”. Love always want to give, not to take. And Love don’t need any attraction for exist and express. Of course, it can coexist Love and attraction, but not necessarily. I think is important to clearly understand the difference. A mature person see attraction  as really is: mere information generated for their body, saying “mm, maybe you are in front of something valuable”, perhaps is good information, perhaps is not. Anyway, the person feels free for ignore it, and never will generate any automatic desire, nor confuse with love.

The source of emotions

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Two constellations of emotions, and their origins

I’ve reading a book, a scientific one, about emotional intelligence, in which emotions are classified in two big classes: positive emotions, giving us welfare, and negative emotions, giving discomfort. In each class there are three main emotions: happiness, love, joy are positive, angry, sadness and fear are negative. All other emotions, about three hundred are listed in the book, are derived from such six main ones.

 

A statement caught my attention: “is easy to fall in the constellation of negative emotions, and in the other hand positive emotions can’t last for a long; we need strive, putting our will in it, for stay in positive states; is like any ‘gravitational force’ pull us down towards the circle of negative emotions“.  Immediately I thought: “such negative gravitational force must be our mind, because ultimately only the mind is the root of suffering. On the other hand, logically, maybe the positive emotions have their source beyond the mind. I’ve become excited with this thought, so I took a sheet of paper and drew some schemas, trying to relate the two classes of emotions with their sources, using the ancient knowledge about the hidden nature of human being. The final schema is the one represented above this lines. As far as I know, there are not any other explanation linking emotions with ancient wisdom. Let me explain the diagram.

Above all states there are the higher Self, with three fundamental attributes: Sat, Chit, Ananda, or Existence, Consciousness, and Bliss. In such primordial high level there aren’t duality: all is one. Below this level we find the mental plane and the duality induced by mind; as we descend the matter is densest, from higher mind to the low mind and matter, that is, intellect and physical body. Intellect creates the ego, and also is the source of all negative emotions, which I draw at low level, as part of the body, because at this level we have to talk in terms of body-mind. Indeed, any negative emotion affects directly the health of the body. At the same time, intellect comes from the Chit attribute, meaning the awareness of the mind is merely a reflect of the higher non dual and absolute awareness named Chit.

 

On the other hand, I drew the positive emotions above, near to the higher non dual plane; even one of them, happiness, crosses partially the non dual plane, because while we still are  in the material world we are able to experiment the bliss in the Samadhi state. In the diagram, the source of all positive emotions is the attribute of the Self named Ananda (absolute bliss). That’s why positive emotions can’t last for a long … while we we remain identified with our mind, which only can produce negative emotions. In meditation we can transcend the mind, and in natural way we can experience, at some degree, bliss, expressed if the form of positive emotions. Of course there are also relations between positive emotions and intellect, but the message here is intellect is not the source.
I think the diagram has important practical applications; every time we feel bad emotions we can think is due our strong identification, in such time, with the ego-intellect, because is the source of such emotions. We know why, the mechanism of suffering. Then, also the solution is clear: stop the mind. Obviously, we only can stop the mind at will if we have the proper training for it: if we are experienced meditators, then we can. 

 

A single understanding:
“I am the One Awareness,”
consumes all suffering
in the fire of an instant
Be happy.
– Ashtavakra Gita –