Last week was not a good one for my wife, so also not for me: after two years of disease, she became worst. Slepless nights, worries, go to work with headache, and a sense of frustration , also negative thoughts, like “I can’t do anything more, I abandon, I can’t … etc”. I realized one thing is to be able for contact, for touch, our inner peace, which lives within us, always stable, always peaceful, and other thing is to be able of act and think positively in front  of  a storm. I can “visit” the peace, for rest, but the world still are a hard, dangerous site.

Family gathered for dinner, we usually watch TV, bad habit, I know it, but we do it. Watching a documentary about a filipino woman, married, poor, who went to Saudi Arabia for work as a cook in a house, the owner threatened her with a knife, rape her, she became pregant, then she had to escape from the country like a criminal due to the laws there, which condemn with jail any pregnant unmarried woman without further consideration … not a good documentary for improve mood.

Opening the doors of mind

Later, I scanned the channels looking for something better for my mood, and found a cartoon movie, “Prince of Egypt”, I have watched it yet, but I decided to stay for a while. The main character, Moses, is hosted in a desert tribe; he’s is discouraged, he feels his life is worthless, and the life has no sense. An old tribe sage noticed it, and started to sing:

A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design

At this point I started to pay attention, because something resonates within me, my mind state was similar to Moses …

And the stone that sits up on the very top
of the mountain’s mighty face
doesn’t think it’s more important
than the stones that forms the base

Yeah , I think so, each of us has a role in this play that is life, and all are important …

So how can you see what your life is worth
or where your value lies
you can never see through the eyes of man
you must look at your life
look at your life through heaven’s eyes

Aha … but, what is “heaven’s eyes”? for me, is a look from an open, clean, illuminated mind. A little mind is always a closed one, watching only a little bit of the whole, but, in their ignorance, judging the whole based only on a small part. It was like a breath of fresh air for me. I “only” can love and support my wife, I can’t do any more, but is not a little value act at all, even seeing she are still bad.


Should a man lose everything he owns
has he truly lost his worth
or is it the beginning
of a new and brighter birth

Indeed, all the brutality of this world, the unfair laws, the oppression, brutality, wars, violence, etc, etc, are the expression of Natural laws through the human mind. Why on earth the mantis devours her consort? In Nature, the weak perish, nobody help the sick, nobody care the wounded, the hungry. Violence is a natural instinct. As a specie we already are rational animals: the instinct of the jungle lives within us, moving our thoughts; that’s why all the violence in our world, is the natural one but rationalized through our intellect. But also we have the ability of transcend our instincts, so our advanced societies offer protection for the weak, for the ill. Our potential is unlimited, because we have not only an intellect, but also a spiritual facet. Even now a days we the humankind have coined a new concept: spiritual intelligence, did you have heard it before? I think is really great that exist such concept, because it means our higher spiritual possibilities are no longer  ill-defined, or just religious stuff, but clear concepts and, more important, skills we can develop.

No life can escape being blown about
by the winds of change and chance
and though you never know all the steps
you must learn to join the dance
you must learn to join the dance

Yeah, let’s dance, the dance of life, even unknowing all the steps, is the only way for learn to dance.

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through Heaven’s eyes, look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through Heaven’s eyes


You were not expecting, and yet happened

You were not expecting, and yet happened
Your life was “solved”. No problems. All is right.
You had two houses, two cars, a good job, family, etc. etc.
Your future didn’t have any surprise, only grow old, slowly.

Yet looking carefully, you could see there was insatisfaction.
But you was anesthetized by the daily routine, you were not able to realize the insatisfaction, it was subconscious. Moreover, you didn’t want to see it.
So seemed your life was decided.

And then, you met someone. And your established points of view start to change.
Slowly, your mind become open, and you become able to see your life as really is: incomplete.

You know, the truth is tough: now you know, now you need change all, but is so difficult. How you can change all without damage your family? Impossible.
So the suffering starts his job: you feel like pulled by two ropes in contrary directions, with enormous strength, one want to keep your life, want don’t damage your beloved ones, the other want freedom, want fulfillment of your old dreams, almost forgotten, this dreams now are knocking your door, they claim answers.

The pressure and the suffering increases, the personality starts to crack, and eventually, collapses, unable to give protection against the pressure of your contradictory desires. Someone had to give.

That day, something die within you, and you reborn again as someone different. Your old desires, and frustrations, dissolved. For some time, only a void remain there, an unpleasant sensation. But Nature is wise, and he always put something for fill the void, in this case, Nature replaces desires with peace, only peace, yes, but a impressive peace, deep one, unlimited one. And suffering stops.

Living without desires
You ask: is possible to live without desires? Well, yes, but is incompatible with to have an ego, because both are non separables. So the end of desires implies the death, or the weakening, of the ego.

To live without an ego, or with a weak ego, implies to start to feel the unit of life, the unit of the existence. Also, you become able to feel your real self, beyond your body and mind. This inner self was there when you were a child, a teenager, and adult; years only add stuff to your personality, but the inner self is the same. So you meet yourself. The most important meeting.

The inner travel starts, is not a travel for weak people, because it destroys your world. Really, spirituality is a destructing way, your points of view, your ideas, concepts, even you own image about yourself, are destroyed. You reborn again. You know, there are a lot of spiritual paths, from Sufis up to Zen, from Taoism up to Hinduism … but the aim is always the same: destruct the ego, the lower self, know the inner real self, beyond dualities, aligned with all the creation, free of selfish desires. And this is only the first stage of the travel.

Comments and questions about this inner travel will be well received 🙂

Domestic affairs

Which things are really worthy and which are not? For prehistoric man clearly was to get food and don’t become food. Later, with first civilisations, cames the culture, the commerce, and the money, without forget the war.

In our contemporary world we have more luxuries than never before, but we must recognize our world is the most complicated too. Tons of information surround us. Changes occurs at high speed, contstantly. In such times, become necessary a timeless skill, named discrimination: the ability to recognize which is worthy, which is the right way. I think our time is lacking in discrimination. We are trained, since we was childs, in focusing on manipulating the world outside us, forgetting the world within. But, is the inner world which can give us discrimination. Only there we can find meaning, purpose, value of life.

In Jnana Yoga, a way of enlightenment that drives us to direct intuitive perception of the Supreme Self, one of the four means of salvation is Viveka: discrimination between the real and the unreal, between the permanent and the impermanent, between the Self and the non-Self. The ability of see which are the choices and values that drive us in the direction of the unity of life. Even for people not interested  in spirituality, discrimination is needed for avoid to send our world to disaster.

Lately, I’m trying to apply this discrimination in my daily life. As a result, there are things that seemed important to me, like work, political, and others, that now seems to me only domestic affairs. Like the monk who have to work daily in the tasks he has assigned, but their mainly aim is meditate, and all the other things are secondary, nowadays I only give worth to the actions and thoughts directly related to enlightenment. Of course, when I have to do any of my domestic jobs, I put all my effort in it, but not my self, only my mind. This new point of view is a direct consequence, I think, of the liberation of desires and ego dissolving. Work don’t realize me at all, is only work, no more.


Is it really necessary to suffer to become enlightened?

Suffering and life are inseparable, Buddha said, and I agree, of course. Is true there are people that seem don’t suffer so much, apparently they have a happy life, whilst another people are really living in misery. But even the happy ones must deal illness and ageing, and eventually die. But, why we must to suffer? What is the meaning of all this suffering?

Recently I read one post related to this question: What is the meaning of life? In this post the author states:

The attainment of enlightenment is therefore the real meaning of human life.

I’m agree, I think so. But, is really needed the suffering? Well, you know, I’m not a theoretic of Buddhism, yet I use to read a lot about it. There are explanations that answer my question in the Buddhist doctrine, see for example What’s the Use of Suffering?.  But here in this blog I only write about my self experience, only about facts lived by myself. So, since now, the utility of suffering have remained hidden for me.

Last week, while I was meditating, the knowledge / intuition comes to me; is difficult to explain how, but, when knowledge comes in this way, you really knows the true without need any further proof: you know it.

Suffering is useful for to realize what we are not. Our habitual consciousness is tied to the intellectual mind. How we can cut this chains and liberate our consciousness from the mind? Well, suffering is born in the mind, which can generate a lot of suffering and can drive us to a hell in the Earth. Sometimes, in some persons, the suffering becomes unbearable,  then this people have a strong pull for to cut the link with their crazy mind. In such cases, consciousness move on, becomes free, and transcends the ego. So, suffer can be a way for transcend our normal consciousness and achieve enlightenment. This is the clear notion I have now by own experience. In the next post, I will talk about where consciousness goes when the chains with mind are cut.





A nice site for meditating in the Pyrenees, in Europe


Thoughts about consciousness

This morning, while my Sunday morning walking, I’ve been thinking about the consciousness, and their relation with mind. There are a lot of writing about this topic, of course, so I don’t pretend to discover the secrets of consciousness in some lines, only pretend to share some thoughts derived from my own experiences in the last years, years of big changes in my life, years of meditation, introspect, and a bit, only a little bit, of self-knowledge.

Is consciousness a product of mind? Well, there are some experiences that seems to contradict the claim.

First of all, a quite common one, I think: we are walking, and suddenly, we see a wide nature landscape in front of us. At the very end, far away, the mountains. Our look, used to short distances, cross the space in a fraction of second, and for a short time all the extensive overview fills our field of consciousness. In this short time, even people that don’t use to meditate at all, experiences some feeling of oneness with all the panorama, some kind of state of no-mind. Why?



Source: http://www.ecosystema.ru/ 

I read about this feeling time ago, in a book of Paul Brunton, and I have found it is true. The reason Brunton gives is: mind can’t react enough fast, so when our look cross the space, a lot of miles far away, our consciousness “works” without the help of our mind, there are only perception, thanks our eyes, and consciousness without thoughts. Of course, this state only lasts for a seconds, our mind reacts quickly and we return to his realm again, as usual.

Another aspect this experience tell us is: seems consciousness is a way to join ourselves, in some sense, with the objects of our awareness. With pure consciousness without a mind analyzing all the content, we are our consciousness, that contain a wide world, so we are this world too. 

Another fact is, our mind make thoughts even when we are unconscious, for example in deep sleep. With practice,we can be able to recognize when we are dreaming (that is, lucid dreams, I have experienced them), and to recognize ourselves beyond our thoughts (one of the aims of meditate indeed).

So seems to me consciousness and mind are quite independent. There are another experience, of my own life, a very important one for me, that helps me to decide. I have write about it in another post, Atman awareness: the touch of God, so now I only want to resume it: in a lucid dream, my consciousness could switch between my ordinary mind (almost ordinary, I was sleep, but having a lucid dream, so I was awareness I was dreaming) and a very high state I never could imagine, and I can’t explain in detail, words become not enough.  My mind formulated questions, and the answers came quick… from where?

So I think our consciousness can “plug” and “unplug” from our mind, and thanks to this feature we can experience from unconsciousness, up to higher states of awareness and oneness, beyond space and time, beyond ordinary mind.

Then, ordinary human being lives almost all the life with their consciousness absorbed in the ordinary mind, maybe with some short flashes of wide awareness. From this point of view, to achieve enlightenment is equivalent to liberate our consciousness from the mind: we still can use our mind in the ordinary life, practical and domestic stuff, but our consciousness are able to see beyond, indeed, our mind are include within, not the contrary. 

I think to expand our consciousness is a direct way for overcome and control our mind (the contrary of to be controlled for it, as usual), for experience oneness, mindfulness, and enlightenment. Easy of say, of course, but hard to do.