The unnoticed anger

Anger is the emotion that releases or handling, more power, which demands to be channelled, used to something, it may harm ourselves and others. Explosive anger that leads to physical or verbal violence is not to be discussed here, attend anger instead of low intensity, more frequent, more subtle, you can even go unnoticed, but not its effects always harmful.

Anger and attachment

When you keep thinking about sense objects, attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire, the lust of possession that burns to anger. Anger clouds the judgement; you can no longer learn from past mistakes. Lost is the power to choose between what is wise and what is unwise, and your life is utter waste. But when you move amidst the world of sense, free from attachment and aversion alike, there comes the peace in which all sorrows end, and you live in the wisdom of the Self. – The Bhagavad Gita.

Attachment concerns us here is subtle: it is preconceived ideas in our mind. It may be to the idea of yourself, as you think / you want others to behave with you, or you want your life in general. When that attachment is attacked, anger and automatic defence mechanism arises. The ancient text of Gita makes us a serious warning to this effect: the anger generated by the frustrated desire make us lose our ability to discern, our “common sense”, and life is so wasted, from the point of view of the seeker the wisdom.

How this low intensity anger manifests? An example: the despair, emotion (negative) that arises when someone does not pay us the attention we think we deserve, or we expect. It is a kind of resentment, but with different dyes. In any case, we expected something from someone, who has not given us it, and there is an anger response. There is no explicit violence, but an animosity against anyone .. for the mere fact of not meeting our expectations! There are a lot of negative emotions, some of them are directly related to anger:

negative emotions

Some negative emotions related to ire

Another example of anger that can be unnoticed if we don’t refine our perception is indifference or coldness with someone. At the root of this emotional attitude of coldness we meet again anger: the process is similar, we had develop attachment to something or someone, we don’t get it our desired way, so our response is to ignore it. When we ignore something, we take our attention, turn away from our consciousness, which is a way to destroy it, to remove it from our world. Anger is always destructive, in all its forms.

Anger can be contagious

Through the same mechanism of attachment, anger can become viral; for example if two people have attachment for each other, and one of them falls in behaviour dictated by anger, even being of low intensity, the other person certainly will detect it. Being too attached, coldness, indifference, spite, or any other form of anger “overlapping” will produce pain, which can in turn react with anger. Like a virus, anger has been transmitted infection using attachment as mechanism. It is one of the fastest ways to destroy a relationship, because anger, as energy is, can drive the person to drown any feelings of love or friendship.

How we can notice anger and how to avoid it

For to be able to perceive that we are in a negative state we need to be a bit aware of what we are living every moment. Cultivate our inner life is a first step:  being able to be the protagonist of what happens inside us, not an unconscious victim, dragged by automatic emotions.

Once detected the negative state, and it is important to do it sooner rather than later to avoid such emotion goes strong within us, we have to counter it with some emotional management techniques, relaxation, meditation, etc. Of course, ideally, as indicated by the Gita, the ideal is to be free of attachments, be a free spirit, but that is another way to call self-realization, which is not easy to get. In that state, we do not identify with the body nor the emotions, nor thoughts. By not identify with anything, we can not stick to anything either, we are free.

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