Attraction and Desire are not Love

A common feeling is that attraction between two person often drives them to desire other’s company, staying near, and then is possible to start thinking in love.

But attraction is an emotion generated for unconscious mind; there are some triggers which are activated by certain subtle stimuli, like an expression of face, tone of voice, glances, also intellectual triggers like opinions, likes and dislikes, etc. Our instinctive brain,  located outside the conscious brain, is the responsible of generation of signals: “in front of you there are a valuable person, stay close to her”.

Of course, often the signals are too superficial, and when we know better the person, then we realize is simply another person, not so special. Indeed, we aren’t talk here about intuition, but about low level physical attraction.

But when conscious mind receive such signals, if the person are living their identity as en ego, that is, a mess of thoughts, personal history, desires, etc, then the person is not able to see the signals as they really are, only automatic information generated for their low brain, instead, the person thinks he himself  is who feels the attraction. Then, is easy the conscious mind generate a desire for to be near such attractive person.

Such attraction-desire can be confused with love; lot of music, movies, books, talk us about this kind of love. But in fact is far away from true love; attraction-desire is more near to “I like you, so I want you”. Love always want to give, not to take. And Love don’t need any attraction for exist and express. Of course, it can coexist Love and attraction, but not necessarily. I think is important to clearly understand the difference. A mature person see attraction  as really is: mere information generated for their body, saying “mm, maybe you are in front of something valuable”, perhaps is good information, perhaps is not. Anyway, the person feels free for ignore it, and never will generate any automatic desire, nor confuse with love.


One thought on “Attraction and Desire are not Love

  1. Pingback: Desire can prevent Love | the closed room

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