Love is, above all, a practical skill?


Nowadays I’m reading the novel “Victus – The fall of Barcelona”  by Albert Sanchez Pinol, Daniel Hahn, Thomas Bunstead; the hero (or better, the anti-hero), a guy without resources, is in love with a rich heiress, and the feeling is mutual. The love story comes to this end when a young rich man appears on the scene: the girl decides life with a rich man is the best choice, breaking the heart of the protagonist, who bitterly comes to say: after all, love is the most practical thing that exists.

Yet the common opinion is just the contrary, the quote made me reflect about it. Right now I have finished the reading of a post about it, in the blog Thanking the spoon (Insights from a Buddhist Life Coach); the post, The six types of Love, states:

There are six types of love: 

  1. Physical
  2. Sexual
  3. Emotional
  4. Intellectual
  5. Practical
  6. Spiritual

Later, he also states:

…relationships seem to work best when the two people in it want to be loved in the same way … (the different types) reveal our core Values, in other words what is most important to us. Our Values drive our expectations and our happiness is determined, at least in part, by how much these expectations are met by our relationships.”

I see here another way of say “love is above all practical”: if you don’t meet with all this “types of love” in the measure of your partner expects, the relationship will not be solid. You must be good in all this areas, in the measure your partner assesses them. Maybe your partner wants intellectual and spiritual commitment above all, or maybe the most important is emotional support. Anyway, you need to be skilled in the areas, and specially in those of them important for the partner.

For example, in the novel I’m reading, the guy meet very well the expectations about physical, sexual and emotional love, but fails in practical area, which is very important for a girl of high society: is a relationship without future. Time ago I knew a similar real case: a man and a girl absolutely in love, but the guy don’t meet the practical impositions stated by the family of the girl; being a Hindu family, this was a determinant imposition, and the girl broke the relation, and also the heart of the man.

So I think “worldly love” is really a practical thing. Nothing to do with real Love, which is unconditional, and unique, the same in all circumstances, unaffected by them.


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