You were not expecting, and yet happened

You were not expecting, and yet happened
Your life was “solved”. No problems. All is right.
You had two houses, two cars, a good job, family, etc. etc.
Your future didn’t have any surprise, only grow old, slowly.

Yet looking carefully, you could see there was insatisfaction.
But you was anesthetized by the daily routine, you were not able to realize the insatisfaction, it was subconscious. Moreover, you didn’t want to see it.
So seemed your life was decided.

And then, you met someone. And your established points of view start to change.
Slowly, your mind become open, and you become able to see your life as really is: incomplete.

You know, the truth is tough: now you know, now you need change all, but is so difficult. How you can change all without damage your family? Impossible.
So the suffering starts his job: you feel like pulled by two ropes in contrary directions, with enormous strength, one want to keep your life, want don’t damage your beloved ones, the other want freedom, want fulfillment of your old dreams, almost forgotten, this dreams now are knocking your door, they claim answers.

The pressure and the suffering increases, the personality starts to crack, and eventually, collapses, unable to give protection against the pressure of your contradictory desires. Someone had to give.

That day, something die within you, and you reborn again as someone different. Your old desires, and frustrations, dissolved. For some time, only a void remain there, an unpleasant sensation. But Nature is wise, and he always put something for fill the void, in this case, Nature replaces desires with peace, only peace, yes, but a impressive peace, deep one, unlimited one. And suffering stops.

Living without desires
You ask: is possible to live without desires? Well, yes, but is incompatible with to have an ego, because both are non separables. So the end of desires implies the death, or the weakening, of the ego.

To live without an ego, or with a weak ego, implies to start to feel the unit of life, the unit of the existence. Also, you become able to feel your real self, beyond your body and mind. This inner self was there when you were a child, a teenager, and adult; years only add stuff to your personality, but the inner self is the same. So you meet yourself. The most important meeting.

The inner travel starts, is not a travel for weak people, because it destroys your world. Really, spirituality is a destructing way, your points of view, your ideas, concepts, even you own image about yourself, are destroyed. You reborn again. You know, there are a lot of spiritual paths, from Sufis up to Zen, from Taoism up to Hinduism … but the aim is always the same: destruct the ego, the lower self, know the inner real self, beyond dualities, aligned with all the creation, free of selfish desires. And this is only the first stage of the travel.

Comments and questions about this inner travel will be well received 🙂

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4 thoughts on “You were not expecting, and yet happened

  1. I’m not sure what you are saying here, but I do wish you well. Are you married? Are you bringing an end to that marriage?

    Best wishes to you. This is a difficult decision.

    Celia

    • Thanks for reading and comment Celia. Yes, I’m still married, I had a personal crisis some years ago, as a result, my selfish ego crashed and now is weak; the marriage was not damaged, on the contrary, now I’m able to love without selfish demands. That is my message: a crisis may cause a great spiritual development, may be a gift.
      Take care dear.

  2. I live a simple life without wants. I am epileptic but controlled with medication. I am unemployed but supported by my family. I cannot drive but rarely need to go anywhere. Usually when I travel now it is on behalf of someone else. I used to be obsessive about searching for God in my life but realized there is no rational way to find God. If God wants to find me, he will come to me. I am at my peak BMI with a bit of potbelly but have no need to improve my physical appearance. I used to be a bit of a foodie but dont order out anymore — I take my food as I find it and dont eat much either. I am celibate and only have strong desire for sex during erotic dreams. I have no real purpose but do not feel I need one to be content. Pain may be a fact of life for everyone but I do not think you have to suffer if you dont want to. I currently live a life of contentment but believe I can live a life of hardship if my life changes so. I will enjoy the good times while they last. One of the main reasons I am able to do all these things is because I am dependent on my family. So I sometimes wonder if I am lazy? What would you say?

    • Well, I’m not able to judge anybody. Lazy? Maybe externally you seem so, but you have a rich inner life … who knows? So I think it’s not what you seem but what you really are. External world is a changing field, nobody can say “my life is stable, and will be stable forever”, right? Maybe next year your existence will change a lot, maybe not. The important thing is to be open to changes, and don’t be afraid of it, because fear close ourselves to life.

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