Evolution of our relationships
Relationships are needs in life. They are the means for achieve things, as personal affirmation and fulfillment. Also they give us work, money, influence, etc. So, at first stage, relationships are means for achieve something for me, is basically a egocentric relationship. People are worthy if they give me something that I expect, otherwise, they are worthless or even enemies.
After, when the person achieve a more developed awareness of himself, when he starts to live not based on comparatives with others, not for appearances, but live in live, then the human relationship starts to live as a valuable exchange: I’m sharing my knowledge, with others, and together we create new knowledge, and I become better with this exchange. And the same with feelings: exchanging them with compatible persons enriches me as a person.
But it can come a later stage in which I realize human relationships can be something more important, with a different aim: is a mean for to express my qualities helping to other persons. Then they becomes an action without expectations, we don’t wait for any payment, is a way for to express my intelligence, my energy, my love. My social awareness progress.
Seems as a sort of evolution: first we start egocentric oriented, then we pass through a more balanced phase between me and the other, then we simply give ourselves to the others without later reward. This evolution must be a result of having better self awareness, never must be something imposed, otherwise, we always will looking for a reward. When we really serve without expecting nothing in return, we never become undeceived, because the person become self-sustained, self-supported. How we get this state? Discovering our deepest self.
We and the others
We see the people through our senses, they are a set of data supplied by our senses. We compare this data with our ideas, personal preferences, etc, and then we judge the person: intelligent person, kind person, unpleasant one… But, what about the real person? What we see is a reduction, sometimes even a caricature, of the real person. And, when we dealing with this person, we behave according to our idea. I we only see the limitations of a person, and behave with him according with our vision, we are reinforcing their limitations in their mind. On the other hand, if I recognize their real life, beyond their limitations, then I’m helping them to express their inner plenty life.
Because the others are looking for the same as me: life in fullness, self-affirmation. Because the real nature of the others is the same of me: intelligence, energy and love, trying to express in life. If we could see this real nature, this intelligence trying to express, this energy and love, filtered by their mind, by their mental filters, then we can help them to express, and the human relationship become wonderful. This goal is impossible to achieve while I myself am not aware of my real self. If I am living myself in a deep level, then automatically I can see the same in the others, and my relationships become transformed. This the truth: my relationships are limited by our own personal development. And if we are enough aware, we can help to others to awake, otherwise not.