Lately, in some blogs, Facebook pages and other sites, as if they had agreed in say the same thing at the same time, I have read about to be grateful with all the things that life sends to us, because all is for our well, for our learning and improving, etc etc. Frequently, this idea is showed together with other ideas, like acceptance and forgiveness. Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t agree. Is not the same at all. Let me explain my point of view.
Acceptance and forgiveness
My life, like many other, have been a hard one, I’m not special, no need to explain details now. I have learned to accept it: we can’t control our lives, bad things and good things happen, and with both we can learn life lessons, true. And I have learned to forgive: resentment is a powerful poison, it can damage ourselves even more than the events that originated the resentment; moreover, many times people damages us without bad intentions, they do wrong actions due to ignorance, not due to evilness. And lately my own ego has become weak, so is difficult to harm me with words. But, to be grateful with a bad life is something absolutely different, from my point of view.
A bad teacher
Let me tell us a short history. When I was six years old I had an old teacher, this old man believed in an ancient idea about teaching: “learn to read, needs to bleeding”. Scare, right?
That teacher used to physically punish their students, scaring them. I never forget a beating I received with a half-meter measuring ruler wood, due to my wrong answer replying their asking about some classification of triangles! The fact is, at the end of these awful year, my marks was excellent, so he achieved his aim: to force that little children to learn. For years and years I had bad feelings for that teacher, I hated him indeed. He was a cruel guy. Of course, now I have forgiven him: he only believed his way was the right one. And I have accepted the events. But, may I be grateful with him, or with the beatings? Must I be grateful with him? I think I must not. If I do it, then in some way I’m giving him some agreement, and this is awful, their methods are entirely objectionables without any doubt. So I think I must forgive, and accept, but never be grateful, for principles.
A bad life, Karma issues?
Life is another school, and we can have good and bad teachers too. We can learn from both, true, but, must we be grateful with bad ones? Sure there are better ways for to learn. Maybe some of the readers now are thinking about Karma: “well, there are people with really a lot of suffering in their lives, but is a consequence of their bad Karma for sure, so they need to clean it for achieve the peace in futures lives“. Of course, of course, but then, Karma are playing the role of my bad teacher, so I can’t be grateful with the consequences of bad Karma. So again, I can accept it and forgive it, but I never can be grateful with pain, suffering, etc.
A higher point of view
But there are light at the end of this post, trust me. So, let me explain a second short story from my own life experience, a story that started to change my life, driving me to the spiritual path.
My beloved mum died at forty-six years old, in an unfortunate accident; I was present in that time, and I was not able to help her. I have to say that she was a lovely person, who had a sad life: her dreams had broken, and she could not enjoy the life as she deserved. So her premature death was the final point to a unlucky life. Due to all this things, I felt in desperation and depression, which lasted almost two years.
In these sad days, sometimes I climbed a little hill, near to home, and looked the city for a while, searching for answers: Why? Why this ugly accident? Why her? It was a big city, about 1.500.000 inhabitants. I remember well the sirens of the firefighters, the police, and the ambulances: I could hear them almost constantly, in one side or another side of the city, people needs help, people are ill, people are dying, without stop.
One of these days, more exactly, a night, I became very angry… with all; the world was a crazy, cruel and ugly site. All seemed to me unfair a lot. And, if there was a God in somewhere, seemed to me He must to was a bad God. Then, with all my energy, I looked up to the sky, and mentally I said to God something like this: “we are nothing for you, less than an ant, but your behavior is a bad one, very bad indeed, you gave this sad life to my mum, if I could be at your level, I would give your deserved“. I threw this thoughts towards outside with all my energy, all my bitterness, all my angry.
That night I had a dream, a lucid one, you know, these dreams in which we know we are dreaming. A very tall man, dressed with a black tunic, with a long white beard, and a severe face, was in front of me. Then, he opened his arms and I started to fly toward his body; in this moment I was afraid, because I was awareness, and I thought “Oh my God, maybe this dream makes me crazy, I don’t like it at all“, so I crossed my arms protecting my head, and closed the eyes…
I felt some strange feeling of welfare, while I still was in fetal position, closed, but not so closed for don’t feel that it was something nice outside. Slowly, I began to open my arms and eyes, and then I saw light, but, what light! Impossible to describe it. I only can say that that light gave me welfare, maybe the light was pure welfare and goodness. So I opened myself, letting the light bathed me… the feeling of welfare grew and grew, wow! So I “jumped” into the focus of light, searching more and more. Then, the light was so intense that my body disappeared, in fact I disappeared, dissolved for the light, only remains a little point of self-awareness, I only was a point thinking “I am” within an ocean of pure light… and then I woke.
That pure light have the power of clean up any sorrow, any suffering, nothing negative can live in front of it. Maybe it was the answer of God due to my inflamed thoughts? Who knows it? But, this is my conclusion: no need to give thanks for bad things in life, there are a high awareness which can dissolve all the pain, when we achieve these state, nothing can harm us.
By the way, there are a scene of a cartoon movie, “Prince of Egypt”, that remembers me the pure light of my dream: when Moses was in front of the burning bush, and God shows him His power.