It’s been a long time since my last article; when i thought about writing a new one, I reviewed the old articles, and I always found that I had already written about it, maybe I had already told everything I could tell … but in the last year I have been experiencing a state that I think I have never spoken about. By the way by this time ten years have passed since I decided to meditate daily. It is usually considered that this period of time indicates that you are an “advanced meditator”, at least from a neurological point of view, since your brain has developed new neural connections that have become permanent after so many hours and so much perseverance. It is a bit like playing the piano, which is also considered necessary about ten years of practice.
What is that new experienced state? Let’s try to explain it in words, not an easy job really. But I think it can be motivating so it’s worth a try. The reader will surely have heard the concept, and the recommendation, “be here and now” mentioned numerous times. It is really useful to stop the incessant movement of the mind, always remembering past events and imagining future events. “The past no longer exists” is the slogan. Useful as it is, and true in a sense, there was something wrong with that statement for me over years of practice. I thought that perhaps I was reluctant to accept it, because in that past that had left there were very dear people who no longer exist in the present, and the only thing that remained of them were the memories. Not remembering them was condemning them to non-existence, to oblivion, to nothingness, and that hurt. So for a long time I believed that I had some kind of internal resistance that with practice would disappear.
But as I was saying in this last year of meditative practice, I have been experiencing a state of consciousness that seems to be the answer to my doubts about being constantly here and now, and regarding considering the past as non-existent. Let me try to explain it.
It began with experiencing a pleasant memory, like a flash a distant moment of fleeting happiness came to my memory; temporary because, as we know, the mind is restless, and happiness is usually temporary, since the mind is unable to reside in it, it prefers to move. But today my mind is no longer restless, on the contrary, it is capable of remaining calm, contemplative, at will. As a result, that memory brought back a vivid feeling of happiness that, this time, was not so short-lived, as I left my mind calm, and my consciousness focused on the remembered feeling of happiness. This experience was never sought at will, it just happened spontaneously, from time to time. After a while those flashes occurred even when she was not meditating. For example, it is my custom to lie down and relax, without falling asleep, ten minutes after eating and before going back to work, to regain energy; Well, in that rest I often come back to such memories of past moments of happiness. They tend to be memories of brief moments: a landscape that I contemplated for a few seconds while walking up the mountain, the bright blue sky, being in good company, the feeling of vitality that being young provides, small moments of life, already far away.
I have realized that in that past I was little aware of that happiness; he was there, but I hardly noticed it, being almost absorbed in my mind. That is why they were brief flashes; of everything that went through my head in those times, my incessant thoughts, my worries, practically nothing remains, they have left no trace. On the other hand, the brief moments of felt happiness return to my consciousness with total reality, in fact, more intense than then, because now I am fully aware of them.
As such prolonged moments of remembered happiness happened, a new sensation appeared: I experienced the sensation of being timeless, that is, the one who experienced those distant moments was exactly the same as the one who recovered them in the present; that is the timelessness of being, its time-invariance. The mind was not the same at all, neither the body, nor the environment, but I clearly lived the sensation of being beyond mind, body and environment. Over time the notion of non-duality of time arose in me. In a similar way to the non-duality of space, which tells us that despite the fact that our mind distinguishes a fragmented reality into numerous objects separated by a space, Reality is one and indivisible, the temporal non-duality experienced indicates that the mind separates time in past, present and future, but the Reality remains one and indivisible also in the temporal aspect. Focusing the mind on the present is correct, but considering that the past does not exist is not so, it is strongly dual, and reality is non-dual. Time is seen as a continuous landscape, in which we are physically at a specific point, which we call present, but our being, timeless, is not in any specific place, it simply is.
I don’t know if I have managed to convey something of the experience using words. In any case, I will add that currently the experience of reviving the past consciousness of happiness with the current full consciousness is even too intense: I often have to let go of it after a few seconds because it gives me the impression of being able to rise to a state of ecstasy. .And then you have to go back to work! Also add that it is a happiness-love, there is a latent love that enjoys existence in its simplest aspects, as right now I simply enjoy looking around me, in my study, in the silence of the morning, without a specific reason, simply feel my being enjoy the total Being around me, and in me.